I am willing to give up my NUS place, to exchange for the return of my grandmother.
The time is coming soon, and it makes me feel rotten.

I am still asking the same questions that I asked myself nearly a year ago.
Will she still be alive if I went to visit her that tue? Is it because I didn't go that day, that's why she died? somehow, this question makes me feel like I am a selfish bitch. I am still willing to exchange my life for hers, but I don't think God will accept it. I don't value my life too much. Actually, I do, I guess. Somehow my life isn't as important, that's all.

I realised that I am very selfish. Isn't it enough that I would be seeing him more than what I'm supposed to see? Yet, I still wish to see him more. I'm such a selfish little pig. i can't keep to my word of appreciating what I have now. I really really should reflect on it.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 11:16 PM|

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