Being discreet is tiring.

I'm insecure. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. In both directions.

Making me unable to think. That's pro..

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 6:33 PM|

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I'm glad that someone shares my mentality. Michael was talking to Shi Ming and I about death. That how he doesn't care whether he will die the next day anot. Doesn't want to think so much anymore.

I mean, life is really really an absurd comedy. Any goals that we have is just a cone to guide us, ultimately, to death. It is just a tool to pass our time away. Are we really that happy once we achieve our goals? I think not. Man are always very greedy, wanting more even though they have enough. Because without any goals, humans are nothing. They are just empty shells, without any motivation.

A cycle that never ends. Things that cannot be finished. He was telling us that we shouldn't choose our partners by looks or by figure. Instead, we should choose them based on our common interests.

I guessed it's family problems all over again. Every single family has their own problems, some more serious than the others. Some are hidden, some are visible.

I'm afraid. I'm seriously afraid. Maybe one day, I would have the courage to face it.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 7:12 PM|

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+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 10:50 PM|

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The lifting of hatch cover from the ship
The wharf controller was guiding the hatch cover to land in the proper position.
The hatch cover had landed.
Another hatch cover landing on top of the hatch cover.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 10:21 PM|

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the 40 footer container compared to the 20 footer in the previous post.
The lights are switched on!


+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 10:17 PM|

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me inside the wharf controller cabin with Shi Ming.

The starting - mounting of container
Getting the container
Lifting the container.

I envy the quay crane operator.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 10:03 PM|

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vampire knight ep 7
itazura na kiss ep 7
xxxholic ep 6 and 7
one piece 318,319,320
zettai kareshi ep 5

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 9:51 PM|

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He bought 2 pandas for me! YAY! now my star will have more playmates.


my bro is slping after a tiring 6mths trip to china. I think he's going to kill me if he sees this pic..haha..

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 2:47 PM|

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OMG! What are Karim and Alvin aka vin vin doing? This is an act of gayness! haha..

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 2:33 PM|

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Pics of bbq.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 2:30 PM|

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Henry Kor and his chick.


Pic from henry Kor's b'dae. The little stuffed chick was his present. Cute rite?

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 2:09 PM|

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I'm mad. Instead of studying, I'm blogging when the paper's is only like 1hr away.

And chatting on msn too with xiang xiang. Siao la.

But seriously no mood.

I sat on kk's bike again ytd. I guess it's becoming more frequent? But den i find it to nice. With the wind blowing. I'm addicted to the rides liao.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 9:00 AM|

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Preparing to go onboard vessels by taking pics!! LOL..

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 3:10 PM|

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Difference between xiang xiang's helmet and a helmet that is new?
LOL. He just finished *decorating* his helmet. This is such a bo liao act, but then it's super fun.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 3:03 PM|

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This is yao yao. He looks damn young la. I thought he was like 20+ but den later xiang xiang told me he was like close to 40 (born in 1969). I seriously got a shock. More like a heart attack. He's quite a nice guy, except that sometimes he scares the hell out of me when he's angry.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 2:50 PM|

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I'm talking to the little bear.

Pic of me and geok doing the symbol of people, ren. "hito"

Anyway, one side is leaning more to the other side, saying that people are actually not equal, but I shouldn't delve into that now. Haha. A whole essay on the pic.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 2:45 PM|

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The different coloured helmets have different meanings.


Took this pic when I was sitting in the office and had nth better to do.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 2:38 PM|

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nabari no ou ep 6
one piece ep 317
itazurana kiss ep 6
vampire knight ep 6
zettai kareshi ep 4

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 1:48 PM|

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And now he's spamming my mail.LOL.
nah..I'm glad..At least he's thinking of me. Haha.

Maybe the idea of keeping in touch with himthem after I start uni isn't such a dream anymore?


haiz..But the thing is, I don't want to get my hopes too high...

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 12:22 AM|

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Ok, the out of sight, out of mind is rubbish.
or maybe I'm just falling deeper.
He's invading my mind!

The smile, the actions, are on my mind all day long.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 10:51 PM|

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hmm....
saw KK's and Xiang xiang's IC today. Exchanged them actually. xiang xiang got his IC done in 03 too! tho his is 3mths b4 mine. KK is born in 1979. Cool!

That's y i gt all his stats. LOL.

xiang xiang isn't as pure as he seems to be. But, I'm good at deluding myself, you see. I mean the tattoo. Out of sight, out of mind. As long as I can't see his tattoo, I dun really care. LOL.
Nelson has a baby girl. o.O

I guess talking will lead to a lot of knowledge that I'm eager to know.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 10:57 PM|

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I am very good at deception. Delusion. Self-delusion, especially.

Self-delusion (Self`-de*lu"sion) , n.

The act of deluding one's self, or the state of being thus deluded.

A common criticism of positive thinking is that it’s self-delusion. Images of Saturday Night Live’s Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley come to mind: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”

I happen to think this criticism is perfectly valid. I don’t do daily affirmations or recommend them to others because I think they’re a waste of time. Too much positive thinking can lead to self-delusion. You experience a false sense of growth because you lower your awareness, blinding yourself to your problems instead of truly facing them. As a general rule of personal development, whenever you do something that lowers your awareness instead of raises it, you’re making a mistake.

Personal growth is more than merely conditioning yourself to feel better about your life. While some people clearly need an attitudinal adjustment to make progress, the optimal attitude for personal growth doesn’t arise from self-delusional positive thinking. You don’t need positive thinking for personal growth. You simply need intelligence.

If you find that your personal growth efforts are in conflict with what your intelligence is telling you, trust your own intelligence, regardless of what anyone else says, including me. (raku)

Positive thinking can reduce intelligence by lowering awareness. Instead of facing your real problems and challenges, you try to write them off with affirmations. That isn’t the way to grow. It’s better to face and accept the whole truth, even if you don’t like what you see. A little pain now and then isn’t going to kill you.

Steve Pavlina

You scored a total of 91

It is highly likely that you are presently suffering from adult attention deficit disorder, according to your responses on this self-report questionnaire. You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional immediately.

I guess that's where all my random tots are coming from.

I'm just very tired. Tired of everything. There isn't really anything to live for. Why am I on this world anyway.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 12:20 AM|

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Jeremy is scary in his intuition. Must be careful around him sia.


suddenly dun have the motivation to write anymore. LOL.

the past that catches up with you.
the future that you are trying to catch.
It is like a cycle that never ends.
The dreams of humans.
The destruction that humans do.

I am ashamed at the behaviors of humans.
I am ashamed at myself.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 11:07 PM|

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I am willing to give up my NUS place, to exchange for the return of my grandmother.
The time is coming soon, and it makes me feel rotten.

I am still asking the same questions that I asked myself nearly a year ago.
Will she still be alive if I went to visit her that tue? Is it because I didn't go that day, that's why she died? somehow, this question makes me feel like I am a selfish bitch. I am still willing to exchange my life for hers, but I don't think God will accept it. I don't value my life too much. Actually, I do, I guess. Somehow my life isn't as important, that's all.

I realised that I am very selfish. Isn't it enough that I would be seeing him more than what I'm supposed to see? Yet, I still wish to see him more. I'm such a selfish little pig. i can't keep to my word of appreciating what I have now. I really really should reflect on it.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 11:16 PM|

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