Me very happie today.
I am sounding so off today.

The lit interview went badly. I didn't answer the question, as usual. I think i gt the same prof as charlotte.

kk din go to work today. He gt RT, whatever that means. I think it stands for reservist training tho.
yang yang gt a haircut. Nelson was funny. He kajiao yang yang say that I was looking for him. But they are damn busy today la. One of the crane operators kenna stuck in the quay crane for a few hours. Damn suay sia.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 8:38 PM|

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Sat on KK's bike today. <-- This was the virginity that I was referring to. LOL. sat on the bike twice. KK drove me to JLH to makan prawn noodle den he drove me back again and dropped me at the admin building while he went to tap his card to go home. 8617<--his license plate

Yup..anyway, it was damn cool. My parents were saying that bikes are like very dangerous but den ytd was super damn fun.

Tho yong was on time off ytd. (oh.. and he has gt another nick that i became acquainted to ytd. --> Yang yang.) lol.. I think that the nick is damn cute. Esp when he was being called that by another guy of the same age.

And Ntu called me down for interview. It is TODAY! damn stupid cuz it's like damn last min. And they are on 2nd shift today somemore. So after typing this entry, I will go back to sleep and then after that, prepare to go for the interview, w/o preparing for anything.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 7:16 AM|

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Just bought contact lens. After such a long time of not using it.
Maybe I'm growing up.

Ming Jie and I didn't meet up in the end today. I was too tired too. It means nothing if we don't put our heart in it.

He broke up with his gf. like 3 mths ago, and i only knew it today.
Maybe I didn't grow up after all. Him asking me and me answering anything seems to be repeating history. But, den, I guess he knows me too well. After all, we have known each other for such a long time liao.

I hope tml will be a happy day as always.

And I can prove that it is just a crush. Which is good for me.


+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 9:10 PM|

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haiz..another week is just going to pass by.
There was a man who hung himself in the cabin last night. It was damn scary. I mean, hanging himself in the sea. I think the crew got demoralised.

I was just reading the story abt survivors. The people who survived the aftershock of suicide.

I am being spastic.I must be way mad to think of the possibility.

Now, I wish for monday to come. And I am so spastic to calculate the days. How dumb can I be?

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 11:18 PM|

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I want to bitch abt the girl who is sitting behind me. She is just a ...bitch. WTH.. she should just keep her mouth shut. I mean, she isn't the one who is bring me around so y in the hell should she care about me going around to see the process? Damn, I shouldn't have like gotten upset. It just proves that her words got to me.

Actually I'm just afraid that he would get scolded. But I guess not? since he was the one who invited me to go for the ride. Saw him just for a moment today. Yong, i mean. There were a whole lot of vessels to day. It's like a battlefield, with sparks flying around.

Manfred didn't go off early today, surprisingly. He is quite suay in a way, with the boss finding him every time he went off early.

haha..
The conversation that took place today

me: I think that this place is very interesting. I want to continue if Bernard allows me to extend the contract.
Evelyn: This place very interesting?
me: ya
Evelyn: In what way?
me: the scenery here. Plus yong will bring me around if he's free and he sees me.
Evelyn: den u must ai si yong liao
me:(laughs) ya lor

little did she knows how true it is.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 7:45 PM|

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I have been thinking about a lot of stuff that I shouldn't have been thinking of these days. Too much, in fact. This is really really bad. I don't think I am old enough to be thinking about this kind of things. Like how a guy looks like when he is naked. WTH. I am only like 19?!! I'm really going crazy.
I think my brain is just going into its overload state. Nevermind. I just hope I will maintain my sanity tomorrow. And not do stupid stuff that will lead me into more trouble later.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 11:12 PM|

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I'm a little pissed off by yvonne's comment but then again, she is still a little kid. Jeremy and I are not meant to be and will never be together. We are too alike in some ways. I meant, we are both stubborn and i have-no-idea-how-to-explain. It just is.

It is weird how our lives intertwines, goes way out and then intertwines again. Maybe if we had not been in the club, we would have been virtual strangers. Would we still be talking to each other today?

Fate is such a funny thing.

We can be a total stranger, or we can be close friends. It is all determined. We can be walking along the same street, yet we are virtual strangers. We can be far away, yet we can be close friends who call each other everyday.

We can be friends who talk a lot or we communicate by silence.

Two years ago, i was wondering whether Jeremy and Wendy and the other club people will still be my friends today. Now, time has given me the answer, for now. At that time, I thought Wendy was moving away. Now, it still seems that we are moving further and further away from each other. Even Jeremy too. The movement is subtle but I guess, after a few more years, the difference would seem more apparent. We will be walking down our own path. Even though we might be influenced, the end result is still the same - that we have to walk down the path ourselves. No one will be able to walk down the exact same path with me, nor mine with theirs.

But I am truly grateful for what I have now, because I can say that I have a fun time with them. No matter what happens next, at this moment, it is enough.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 12:19 AM|

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ok, this is such a long time since I have used this blog. It's a bit scary how much I have changed in such a short time. A year plus, yet I am a totally different person from before. Now, I can safely say that I have become more acquainted with adult stuff. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I guess no one reads this blog anymore. I don't actually. haha..

Am I a little girl with an adult mind or an adult with a little girl's mind?

I'm actually afraid of going into a r/s with someone, with marriage at the end of it. What's the point of marrying when at the end, the person whom you are the closest with will become a virtual stranger? I am paranoid that the person that I love will end up being the person that I hate or me being hated by the person. Isn't it better that we never meet if it ends up that way?

I'm glad that I'm working in Jurong port. The people there are nice although there are a few whom I cannot see eye to eye. Sometimes they are just damn irritating.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 9:58 PM|

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