i'm stupid. Argh. Why do my eyes keep travelling to him?


Went tkd after missing 3 trainings. I noe i'm bad. It's juz that i dun have the heart to go. Feel so tired but whenever i go, i will nt feel tired le. It's weird. I love tkd but yet it is dangerous. I mean, when u spar. But den it is really very fun.

Eileen quitted tkd because sir doesn't allow them to have a stead frm the same club. Remainds me of auntie jim. Weird. She wanted to noe alot of tinks but den i juz asked her to guess. Thomas's her bro. They doesn't look the same except for the smile lor.

My world is divided into many parts. Nt, teens, tkd, home, jap,guzheng and MI. It's funny that i can show different sides of my personalitities but none of them is my true self. I dun even noe wad is my true self. A part of me juz wana be alone all of the time, without anyone disturbing. I love silence. It is one of the best thing in the world u might have. But through experience, i learnt that most of the pple cnt stay silent for long. They will think that u r nt ok if u do nt speak up. Weird. But i juz go along wif them. But in actual fact, talking on the phone for 5 mins can drai n my energy for the whole day.

My trip to malaysia is cancelled because of the weather forecast. Stupid la. I was intending to get some more bubble gum back. But nvm. Means i get to celebrate JL's birthday.

Christmas is coming but seriously, i dun feel anytink for it. It's juz like another day. Dunno y.

this is getting more and more irritating. I wana record a song but my family members is nt helping. Walking here and there and making so much noise. If i have the means, i will design and spend most of my time inside a soundproof room. I can now understand the pain and torture of someone who want to quietly practise but keep on getting interupted by these kind of pple who dun understand that we nd the peace and quiet to do smth. I wish they can all go n rot in hell.

+ let me die; i'm sorry__]]*
i criedat 11:25 PM|

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